we were supposed to get cancelled

In the the fifth season premiere, Liz Lemon is happily in a non-relationship with Carol (a gray-ish Matt Damon). By the way, can I just say, for the total loser Liz is purported to be (well, by Jack), she seems to do okay in the guy department. There was Subway Hero, Floyd, Dr. Drew, Conan, Wesley Snipes (the other one), and Matt Damon. All right, fine, they're all a little bit...atypical, but still! Liz thinks she and Carol are both quite happy in their non-relationship relationship but it turns out Carol is a sobbing mess who wants a meaningful relationship ("I had to spoon him for an hour. And I was the outer spoon!"). Because it's not a Liz Lemon love interest if there's no bizarre quirk, even if they do look like Matt Damon.

Jack is waging war against Avery, who is trying to redo his apartment. By the way, I'm glad that despite Jack's continuing relationship with her, we don't actually have to see her, because I may one of the few people left who doesn't really get Elizabeth Banks' appeal at all, but I digress. Jack tries to win the war by winning over her presumed gay decorator, because he is, in his own words, a "daddy bear." Despite a hell of an attempt to do so, Avery still wins. No mention of the growing Donaghy fetus.

In totally boring subplots, Jenna becomes a producer as her contract stipulates, is freakishly good at it, and fires herself, and Tracy thinks Kenneth is a figment of his imagination until Ken throws himself in front of oncoming traffic to prove otherwise.

In the end, Liz and Carol decide to make a go of it and tell each other one of their secrets. Her: on a waiting list to adopt a baby (so that plot is back!). Him: touched by priest (!). Liz (we) will see him next on October 14, the live episode!

Things that made me go ughhhh:

The ah....sex scene with Pete's wife. Not necessary, Tina Fey, so not necessary.

My favorite line:
"You're wearing a blazer from Rico's husky boys collection." (Um, I liked her blazer.)