two for the price of one...again

I know, I know. I am just as disappointed in myself as you are. I have slacked off on the last two episodes of Project Runway and I know that I've had weeks to put them up; yet here we are, a couple of days from the next one and this blog is not updated. Well, I'm putting a stop to it this instant. We're gonna kill two birds with one stone and take care of both episodes right here and right NOW. Here we go:

Episode 7: "What's Mine is Yours"
Still recovering from Peach leaving, April is moving in with Ivy, Gretchen, and Valerie. And as welcoming as they were...yeah....April, I wish you the best of luck. Meanwhile, Andy and Michael C. are having a heart-to-heart about how everyone hates Michael C. As annoying as Michael C. is, I have to say that it doesn't feel too good to win a challenge and have no one be happy for you. Sure, you're not that happy when you don't win but you at least congratulate the guy who did...don't you? People just need to get over the fact that the judges like him. Anyways, here we are on the runway to find out the next challenge and after 7 episodes I'm going to finally say it: I truly dislike Heidi's short hair. Please go back to long and flowing. Danke.
It's off to the marina where the designers meet Tim Gunn and Michael Kors for brunch on a yacht. Challenge: Resort Wear. The designers have to create an ensemble that falls under the category of Resort Wear, while still staying true to their aesthetics. After spending $150 at Mood, the designers are back in the work room and OH WAIT, TIM GUNN WALKS IN with that infamous velvet bag and spouts his signature, "Designers, may I ask you to gather around please?" I only wish I could great his intonation in this post. It was priceless; as if he knew exactly how much he's said it and how much staying power the statement has. Well, the reason Tim asked the designers to gather around was because he had a little surprise in store for them (obvious). To make the challenge even more of a challenge, the designers had to hand off their sketch and design concept to another person, who would then execute it. Yes, they were acting as eachother's pattern-makers. The couplings were as follows:

• Gretchen exchanged with Casanova (hooray!)


• Mondo exchanged with Michael C. (everyone hates Michael C.)


• April exchanged with Christopher (cool as cucumbers)


• Ivy exchanged with Michael D. (my prayers are with you, Michael D.)


• Valerie exchanged with Andy (sure, why not?)

Yet another surprise walked in when Michael Kors, uh, walked in with Tim Gunn to critique the designs-in-progress. He especially helped April (no, really, keep reading) by advising her to make a pair of black hot pants to be worn underneath what looked like a short and translucent little frock. "GO WITH YOUR GUT," he enthusiastically told her. And she did. She and Chris seemed like they would be fine, come judging. Mondo and Michael C. were actually getting along and Mondo realized that he "was being a dick" and that, hey, maybe there's a reason why the judges love Michael C. And while Michael K. made note of the patterns being used for Mondo's design, I'm sure he was confident in the final product, knowing Mondo's history. He also reminded Gretchen and Valerie of their constant use of "bordeaux" and cobalt blue, respectively. This of course caused Valerie to suddenly breakdown in an interview: If she doesn't make it to Fashion Week, she professed, "I feel like everything is gonna die." Really? Have you seen this show before? Do you know that they have almost all of the designers show at Fashion Week, so as not to spoil anything? Sure, you may not be in the running to win $100,000 butyou will most likely be showing a collection, so please try to relax. Ivy and Michael D. made up what was probably the weakest pairing--on one side at least. Ivy has great skills so she was able to execute Michael D.'s just fine, but she felt she had to (for lack of a better set of words) dumb-down her design so Michael could complete it. You're right to assume that this did not end well. You could tell just by the way they worked together. I swear, that moment when Ivy was sitting right next to Michael, eyeing his every move as the minutes winded down, gave me the creeps.



And so the magic of the runway comes and goes, and we have 6 designers left on the stage.



Best: Andy, April, Michael D.


Worst: Mondo, Casanova, Ivy.



April's was by far my favorite, or at least the one I'd actually consider wearing. I am nowhere near voluptuous enough to pull off Andy's. And yeah, I like black, but not enough to have it completely enshroud me like Michael D.'s would. As it turns out, the judges--including guest judge, Kristen Bell--also favored April's, and voted her the winner. As far as the losing designers went, well, it was just a whole bunch of awkward. Mondo's design looked like it was made for a teenager. While it was constructed well, it just didn't read adult or high-end, to the point of confusion. Casanova--oh, poor Casanova--was once again defending his design for looking like it'd be worn by his grandmother. I didn't think it was that bad. Sure, it wasn't very resort, more like midtown office, but it was pretty, and the model looked great in it. And Ivy (eyes aflame) pretty much put out a boring, blue ensemble. Again, it wasn't ugly, it just didn't work, and was really blah. But Ivy wouldn't go down without a fight. No, instead she'd basically bash Michael D's work right in front of him, which the judges--"YOU'RE THROWING HIM UNDER THE BUS!"--did not appreciated. And I'd like to thank Nina Garcia for finally putting Ivy in her place by suggesting that while her construction skills are great, her vision as a designer is lacking. The ability to sew, does not a designer make.

Well despite the negative feelings towards Ivy, it was my Casanova who was voted off. But in Casanova's defense, I'm afraid that the judges misunderstood him. It seemed like they actually believed that Casanova designed with his grandmother in mind. But I think the specifics of that idea got lost in translation. I'm sure he didn't actually use his grandma as inspiration. Unfortunately, it looked like he did, to the judges, and I guess they had had enough. It was bound to happen. I'll confess I wasn't quite ready for it to happen. And I'm sure I'm one of many viewers who will miss him. I believe he is the first Project Runway contestant to actually receive an honorary montage of his best moments before he shuts his table light off. Fare thee well, my darling Casanova. I'm glad that you were able to grab at least one of New York's balls.

Michael Kors Quote of the Night: "It just looks like a weird assemblage of clothes from Forever 21...that were on the sale rack!"

Casanova Best Quote to Leave With: "Sad? ZERO. Disappointed? Maybe a quart."

Whew! I know, that was longer than I expected. But since we're here, let's squeeze out the eight episode.

Episode 8: "A Rough Day on the Runway"

I already miss Casanova. That's how I was feeling when I watched the beginning of episode 8. It's safe to say that all the designers were feeling the same way. I have a feeling that we'll see Casanova again. You know Project Runway is unpredictable (not really) like that. But until we see Casanova again, we must move on. Challenge: Jackie Kennedy. American. Fashion. Icon. The designers are given the task of taking the image of Jackie and creating a new (yet inspired) version of sportswear. Easy, right? Sure, sure. Off the designers went to Mood, and they all found what they were looking for. As Tim observed, Mondo was even able to find houndstooth in, "Mondo." Ivy was conflicted between using black and white or white and navy (suspenseful). Christopher was all about making a beautifully fitted dress. Andy, being the individual he is, decided to go in the dangerous direction, and create a pair of crazy cargo pants. But wait a minute. Tim has a surprise for all of us. The designers must create a piece of outerwear to go with their initial design. Notable thoughts from a few designers:

• Michael D.: I have this in the bag. I'm "Captain Outerwear."
• Valerie: Wait a minute, I've already made a skirt/jacket outfit, so...how about a vest?
• Chris: I know, I'll try working with fur, something I've never done before.

Everyone else pretty much took that in the direction they felt they should go. And, well, I know this isn't right but I'd really like to move on from my neglecting the last two episodes and just get us--all 7 of us--so here's how the runway went down:

• January Jones a.k.a. Betty Draper a.k.a One of the Best-Dressed Television Characters Today is the guest judge. I know it's an obvious statement, and I know that the woman seems like an ice queen, but you can't deny that she is beautiful. She's wearing a simple black turtleneck with her hair down and she's gorgeous.
• Mondo looked amazing. Yes, Mondo. The outfit he was wearing was apparently inspired by The Cotton Club.
• Mondo's model looked amazing. His design was everything you'd want for a modern day Jackie: black and white striped boatneck combined with a funky houndstooth pencil skirt, and the signature glasses. She looked great. And separately, you'd think the two pieces wouldn't work, but Mondo put the two together and it looked like it was meant to be. Mondo wins. The cute little jacket was just the cherry on top of an already delicious dessert.
• Ivy's looked very Jackie, but I personally thought it was too literal. And yeah, still boring.
• While the judges weren't all too impressed with Christopher's fur, uh...(insert noun here)...the dress was beautiful and well-constructed.
• Valerie didn't get away with her vest-over-jacket look. And Nina put it simply and called the outfit "sad." Ouch.
• Andy, oh Andy. The pants. They just didn't work. Not at all.
• Michael D. got the "Auf" because of his unmemorable, poorly-constructed, and insulting-to-Jackie ensemble. The skirt failed. The top failed. Even the outerwear failed.

Michael Kors Quote of the Night: "This is schizophrenic Jackie." -on Andy's design.