now this is just pathetic

I know, I know. I'm a little late with this Mad Men recap. I apologize. But, then again, I'm going to freely admit that I wasn't exactly eager to write this recap. The latest episode, "Waldorf Stories," definitely wasn't a favorite of mine. While it revealed a lot of good stuff, and kept us on the move with Don's downward spiral, it was a bit spotty at times. Nevertheless, here we go!

We start with a little interview with a little man. Well, he's short, not only in stature, but also in talent, as we see with his overused ad slogan, "_____. The cure for the common ____." So simple, and to the point. But as Peggy and Don find, it is just not enough to get him into SCDP, even if he is Jane Sterling's cousin! He's certainly not Super Ad Man. The cure for the common Ad Man.

Bit O' Trivia: That little go-getter of a guy is played by Danny Strong--once famous for playing the villainous nerd, Jonathan, in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Isn't that exciting? Moving on.

Surprisingly, the interviewee's book wasn't up to snuff--especially because he has the strange idea that putting other people's work in his book is a good thing. And that just doesn't fly here at SCDP--OKAYYYY!? After Don walked in on Roger dictating an in-the-works autobiography to his secretary, they had a good, hearty chuckle about the incident, which of course ended in Roger obliging Don to hire the guy. Of course, Don went ahead and laughed that one off.

Flashback: I always love how Mad Men cuts to its flashbacks so swiftly and sometimes it takes a minute or two to realize that you are indeed in a flashback. It's not as easy as LOST when there would be that crazy static-like airplane sound that immediately took you into a flashback. No, with Mad Men you have to catch up to the characters' memories. In Roger's flashback, we got to see how he and Don met. And I thought it might be a flashback when I suddenly saw Don looking young and chipper with a bit more hair. My suspicions were immediately confirmed with the shot of Roger Sterling with a younger-looking haircut and color--a bit more gray combed into the trademark white. It was at Heller's Luxury Fur where these two met for the first time. As we all know, Don was at one point a fur salesman and his ex-wife Betty--as seen in the demure black and white poster--modelled for the same company. Roger, being who he is, was the customer in this situation. And he couldn't help but notice the slogan on the company's poster, "Why wait for a man to buy you a fur coat?" I know. It's not great, but he still mentioned it and realized that Don has a bit of an interest in advertising, but more on that later.

And just WHO was Roger buying a mink wrap for? Well, it'd have to be Mona, his loving wi--IT WAS JOANIE. This quite frankly blew my mind a little and caused me to get wrapped up in the logic of the situation. This was before Don was at the agency. And the series starts in 1960, with Don having quite a reputation at Sterling Cooper, as their Creative Director--a position you can't just walk into, coming from being a fur salesman. So does this mean that Joan and Roger had been having an affair for years? I guess that makes sense. When we first met Joan, it was obvious that she had had a long history with Sterling Cooper. And as Paul Kinsey cheekily revealed at one point, Joan is well into her 30's. OK, time for me to ignore the details and just accept the scene for what it is: a glimpse into Joan and Roger's first foray into, well, Joan and Roger.

Meanwhile, Peggy's venting to the new Art Director, Stan Rizzo, about how she gets no appreciation from her mentor, Don Draper. This comes at a time when their Glo Coat commercial--yes, their commercial, Peggy put a lot of work into it--is nominated for a Clio Award. Don credited with 99% of the work. Even when she talks with Don and keeps using "we," Don uses nothing but "I." I'm sorry Peggy, but fishing in the Don Pond for credit and compliments, will just leave you empty-handed. Peggy can't even attend the awards because Joan's been given the 4th and final ticket due to her, uh, ability to catch the eye of potential clients. Peggy's just not getting any love. What's more is that she has to deal getting copy for Vicks completed with a chauvinist (I use that word rarely) and conceited art director who's actually proud of a campaign ad he did with participation of the KKK. Yes, Peggy has had much better days--like when she made out with that beatnik in the closet of that party. Tall and handsome beatnik, please come back.

AHEM. Back to our regularly scheduled programming. Um, to put it bluntly, basically everyone's drinking so they can be "prepared" for the CLIO's, whether they win or lose. Even with their Life clients running late, they attack the liquor cabinet. But don't worry, Don's responsible; he has Joan make him a "simple but significant" drink. He'll be fine. He'll be just fine. And as it looks, the Life people won't be showing up anytime soon, so onto the awards! C'mon, Roger, Don, Pete, and Joan--let's go! YAYAYAY, look at us. At the CLIO's, everything's great!

AND that slime of a slimy slime-slime, Ted Chaough shows up just to laugh in Don's face. I'm certainly glad Roger commented on the bizarre spelling of the man's name (inside joke?). What kind of name is that anyway? Well, despite Ted reminding Don and the gang that they weren't nominated last year, SCDP took home a trophy! Actually, Don (after more than a few) ran up and accepted it after kissing Joan on the lips--AFTER KISSING JOAN ON THE LIPS?? Where did that come from? And I understand Roger holding her hand in anticipation but what about Don holding her other hand in anticipation? Is there something we don't know about these two? Are we in for a flashback concerning a brief affair between them? For some reason, I wouldn't be surprised...but I'd most definitely be bothered by it.

Back at the office, the Harry keeps the Life clients entertained by spoiling Peyton Place and who should walk in but a very triumphant, and very drunk group led by Don the Drunkard. Ugh. I swear, the minute I saw a strand of hair out of place in his trademarked hairdo, I know we were going to be in for something grand. And indeed that's what we got. Don was on such a high (he was trashed) so of course he was feeling well enough to present. And for some reason, it seemed that alcohol worked like speed for him. He was just GO GO GO GO GO. Luckily, he didn't vomit all over the table and actually impressed the clients. Hell, he even freestyled for a minute and came up with some ad slogans; my favorite being, "Enjoy the rest of your life...cereal." But none were as well-received as "Life. The cure for the common cereal." Oh, Don. That is just so creative. I tell ya, there's a reason why your name is on the0--YOU STOLE THAT. YOU STOLE THAT SLOGAN FROM THE LITTLE MAN YOU DISMISSED EARLIER. And Peggy realized it immediately. Way to be alert and alcohol-free. But of course, before Peggy could even say anything, Drunkard Don jumps on her for not having copy for Vicks and has Ms. Blankenship reserve a hotel room for her and the new art director so they are forced to come up with something.

And so begins Don's celebratory binge. And when there's a slow-motion drinking montage, accompanied by a score that sounds like it came out of The Hustler you know it will result in consequences:

• Sleeping with a the CLIO winner for "Cake Mixes and Toppings" after she hums the National Anthem, well done, Don. You really did nab a winner.
• Sleeping--yeah, again--with a waitress who I'm pretty sure he wouldn't sleep with had he been sober.
• Being two hours late (and eventually not showing up) on picking up his kids--remember Sally and Bobby?
• Having to listen to the wrath of Betty (much much deserved. I have to side with her on this one.).
• Having a painful hangover (the least of his worries).
• Having to hire the little guy who's slogan he stole simply to ensure he doesn't get in trouble for the mistake he doesn't even remember making.

Yeah. I was pretty disappointed with Don this time around. I've been disappointed in him before, but honestly, his actions were just sad and pathetic. Where's the man he used to be? Where's the man who took Roger out to lunch and strategically got him drunk enough to either offer him a job, or make him believe he offered him a job (it's a toss up)? Sure, he has a CLIO (which he left at the bar) but really, he's been reduced to someone I just don't respect. And I hate saying that because I used to defend him. Well done, Matthew Wiener. You seem like a real jerk-face, but you've managed to completely turn Don around for me. Here's hoping you can manage another 360.

Other things of note:

• Pete's eyes catching on fire upon hearing from Lane that Ken Cosgrove will be jumping on the SCDP train.
• Duck awkwardly (and sadly drunk) standing up at the CLIO's. Thinking about where he started, and where he is now, just made the situation even more tragic.
• Ms. Blankenship subtly (not really) straightening her wig.
• Joan's bangs. I'm constantly distracted by how perfect they are.
• The Mets pennant in Lane's office. Is he really a fan? Or is that just to give his office a New York vibe? Perhaps attract clients with it?
• Dr. Faye resisting Don--THANK GOD SOMEONE CAN.
• "There's wallpaper more exciting." I guess Stan must've eaten his words the minute Peggy started removing her clothing.
• Pete being so short and authoritative with Lane. Calm down, Peter. Like you said, you are both equals, sheesh.
• Ms. Blankenship referring to the interviewee as Don's "little friend."
• Don's (really, bravo, Jon Hamm) cute and sly little smirk as the elevators closed on a baffled Roger Sterling.

C'est tout!

"live" blogging the emmys, part three

I hope people (all four of you) are reading parts one and two first...

So what did I miss? Ricky Gervais being HILARIOUS, as usual. I love how he always says he's not going to say the borderline inappropriate thing that's percolating in his head, and then just outright says it anyway. He offers out beers. I see Susan Sarandon waving her hand wildly for one. Haha. The Daily Show wins for variety show which I am totally okay with even though I'd have loved to see what Conan would have said.

-Julianna Margulies is giving George Clooney the Humanitarian Award. I am inwardly giddy because my 16-year-old self still looooooves Doug and Carol on ER. Man, he has not aged (ok, fine, he's aged a teeny bit--but only a tad and in recent years). I have to say, no matter how many nondescript brunettes he goes through, I will always be fond of him. I love how he came back to do the finale of ER and he even did the little Modern Family thing earlier in the show, even though he's now insanely famous and "beyond" TV. Man, I didn't know I had so much love for George Clooney until now. WHY ARE YOU SO CHARMING? Anyway.

-Oh, miniseries and movies. Okay, I forgot there are more categories than I thought. I'm starting to feel a little delirious.

-Supporting Actress: Julia Ormond. Man she's nervous. I can't understand anything she's saying.

-I'm glad to see the Community cast in the Subaru ads (is it Subaru?? These ads aren't really working!) This show is as funny if not funnier than many of the nominated Comedy series. Please watch it so it doesn't get cancelled! (They were Infiniti ads)

-Supporting Actor: David Strathairn. I've always liked him. Sorry my comments are becoming more banal.

-Writing: You Don't Know Jack. Actress: Claire Danes. Her dress is very pretty. Hugh Dancy sighting. Er, using the words "like, serious" in an awards speech is not a great idea. She didn't thank her husband, btw. Then again she did sound a bit dazed.

-30 minutes more. I can do this.

-ASkars sighting! He is one tall drink of water. Bill and Sookehhhh look cute. Directing: Temple Grandin. The Pacific is really getting the snub this year. Note: I was sooo excited about The Pacific and I only got through the first three or four episodes before giving up.

-Michael Sheen sighting! Actor: Al Pacino. He looks confused. Sometimes I have difficulty reconciling 1970s Al Pacino with current Al Pacino. I love how the more famous you are, the more time they let you drone on. Applause for Jack Kevorkian.

-The Pacific wins Miniseries. Okay, fine, I'll try the series again one day. Sigh. Tom Hanks thanks a "bodacious" crew. I don't know. TV Movie: Temple Grandin.

-Jimmy says only two more awards. THANK YOU!!!! Hahaha, Tom Selleck and Jimmy are wearing the same thing. Tom is totally bewildered by Jimmy. Best Drama: Mad Men! Expected. Sally Draper looks adorable. Matthew Weiner is becoming increasingly more intolerable the more I hear him speak, however.

-Best Comedy: Modern Family!! Suck it Glee!

-Hallelujah, we're done! Exactly one minute early according to my computer!

And we're out! Actually, this years' show was not bad at all. The first hour (mostly comedy awards) was genuinely funny, and the rest was probably as good as it could get with the boring categories and dramatic stuff. I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion but Jimmy Fallon did a pretty good job. No great speeches but I really liked the way they made the writing and directing categories interesting by using interview clips. No major upsets either (maybe Jim Parsons?) although I wish LOST had gotten more recognition. I'm pooped and it's only 8pm. See you next year!

"live" blogging the emmys, part two

My pencil wrists are starting to get a bit sore, but on we go. As they say on The Hills, "Jer-RAMA!!!!!!!!"

-Writing: Mad Men wins! MM was nominated twice in the category and I can't catch which episode has won...Never mind, it's Shut The Door, Have A Seat. Well, well-deserved. Glam shot of Jon Hamm during Matt Weiner's speech. He really needs to tone down the smug, though.

-Supporting Actor: Aaron Paul for Breaking Bad. Nor familiar with him or the show but apparently he's reeaaaaaaallly good in the show...Ack,they're going so fast during this show I can't keep up! BTW, this will be the one and only time I complain about an awards show going too fast. Thank God, commercial break so I can rest my fingers and empty my bladder (TMI?)

-Emily Deschanel is pretty (Bones is my guilty pleasure show, ok?). Her dress is sadly not. Supporting actress: Archie Panjabi. I don't watch The Good Wife but I remember her as the sister from Bend It Like Beckham.

-Actor: These guys are all really handsome. Note: I totally used to watch Early Edition with Kyle Chandler where that cat used to bring him the next day's newspaper...did they ever figure out who was bringing that newspaper? Anyway, Bryan Cranston again! Steve Carell : Best Actor Comedy :: Hugh Laurie : Best Actor Drama. And by the looks of it, Jon Hamm too. And I still haven't really forgiven the Emmys for snubbing Martin Sheen like five years in a row for West Wing.

-Commercial. You know what sucks? That they moved the talk show writing award to the Creative Emmys. One of the best parts of that was the late show writers' names bit. The Conan one is at least on YouTube. Lol.

-Directing: Dexter. According to John Hodgeman's commentary, the writer's first TV memory was watching Doctor Who. I wrote that because I had nothing else to say, as I don't watch Dexter.

-Lol at NBC's "George Clooney in 17 minutes" scroll at the bottom of the screen. Subtle AND classy, NBC.

-Not quite sure about Jimmy's musical "tribute to three shows we lost this year," but man he is giving it his all this year. I will not object to a Boyz II Men shoutout though. Never mind, his Matthew Fox impression ("We have to go baaaack!") made me laugh. All in Billie Joe Armstrong costume!

-Actress: Kyra Sedgwick. Kevin Bacon shot! He has a mustache. They're like one of the celeb couples that I would be horribly depressed about if they split. Very surprised Juilianna Margulies did not win. She was winning everything up until now.

-Moving onto Variety...dear God this show is going soooo fast. What categories are left? It's only been 1.5 hours. I love how in awards show time that's considered fast. In real life, I could have baked a casserole or something. That's a little depressing. How many hours will I spend watching awards shows in my life???

-Joel McHale makes Jeff Probst look tiny. Writing (variety): The Tonys.

Okay it's time to refuel (i.e. eat dinner for me and plug in for the laptop), so I'm taking a small break.

"live" blogging the emmys, part one

I only sort of half-watched the Emmy Red Carpet on E! and if I'd tried to live-blog the arrivals along with the actual show, I think I'd want to cut off my own fingers mid-way through, so here are the highlights:

-January Jones looks like a hot mess. Her hair looks like she's just been struck by lightning.
-It's Will Arnett and Amy Poehler's 7th wedding anniversary and they kiss on-camera. It is extremely adorable.
-WHY is Kristin from E! announcing her pregnancy on TV?
-Honestly I can't tell whether Lea Michele's high-pitched enthusiasm is fake or not. I'm torn.
-Fashion-wise nothing is really too awe-inspiring. Lots of navy and large hair. Dresses I liked (that I can remember): Brittany from Glee, Kim Karshasian (yeah, I know)...

Thank God the Emmys are actually live on the West Coast this year, so 1. if anyone curses or any streakers are present (i.e. anything remotely exciting) it won't be censored for us and 2. I can still catch Mad men at 10 tonight! Here goes...

-Okay the opening number was fun as hell. Al, you better find this one on YouTube. Jorge Garcia, Jon Hamm, Tina Fey, Joel McHale, Betty White, brunette girl who I think is from Vampire Diaries...Jon Hamm singing and dancing in the glee club. Jon Hamm looking handsome (this may be a recurring theme tonight).

-Jimmy makes a crack at what could go wrong asking a NY late show host to come to LA to host a new show. Shot of Conan looking faux-morose was BRILLIANT. Good job, cameraman.

-Supporting Actor Comedy: Eric Stonestreet! I think I would have preferred Ty Burrell, but he (Eric) is insanely funny as well, and I am not disappointed. Awww, Jesse Tyler Ferguson is crying. Eric Stonestreet gives a lovely speech and basically looks cutely shocked.

-Oh gosh introducing the best writing (comedy) nominees with asking them "Is writing funny?" and then letting them do what they do best (be funny) in pretaped bits is SUCH A GREAT IDEA. I'm starting to have really high hopes for this years' show. Modern Family writers win!

-Stephen Colbert! I will never tire of you. Aww, Tom Hanks mouthed "I love you" to Stephen. Hee. Best supporting actress, comedy: Jane Lynch! Ooh, Julie Bowen is kind of making the I'm-trying-not-to-look-disappointed look. Great speech. Didn't know she had a daughter.

-Lol, Matthew Perry and Lauren's Graham's bit really fell flat but they let it roll off their backs. Directing in a comedy (still loving the interview bits): Ryan Murphy. His suit is very shiny.

-This Modern Family spoof bit is very funny. OMG, the George Clooney cameos!!!! Dying!!! I'm overusing exclamation points!!! Forget the opening, this is the skit to find on YouTube.

-Lead Actor (comedy): Jim Parsons! I think he is hilarious, but I feel a little (a lot) bad for Steve Carell.

-Lead Actress (comedy): Haha, when the camera pans to Tina Fey as her name is listed, she mouths "3rd hairdo" as in, of the night. Edie Falco wins.

-I really like how they've separated the show by genre (i.e. comedy, reality, drama). The comedy section, at least, was great.

-Best reality show is Top Chef. Yayyyyyyy. I spy Padma and Gail on stage! Padma looks really excited and maybe a teeny bit drunk. Do they serve alcohol at the Emmys?

-ENOUGH of the Oprah's Final Season ads. There's been one like every commercial break.

-Ernst & Young time. I'm calling part one over.

well, that was certainly a first

If I had to choose one word to describe the latest episode of Project Runway, it'd probably have to be, "awkward." So awkward. Horribly awkward. Uncomfortably awkward. Awkwardly awkward. I hope that by now, you get the picture.

Things were off to an okay start. The designers were still recovering from Michael C.'s win. I have to admit, guys, that I actually liked the dress. Sure, it wasn't that exciting. But that's what the lobster hat was for--to add the DRAMA. It was a dress that I would be happy to have in my closet. And you know what? I agree with the judges about Chris' design. There was way too much going on for you to admire anything about it. ANYWAY, back to THIS episode. This week's challenge forced the designers into 2 teams of 6, which only meant one thing: a collection. And that's what they were assigned. Each team chose one of each from a board with different concepts and textiles to design a collection for Fall 2010. We have Team Luxe: menswear as womens' wear in camel, and we have Team Lace Military: the name pretty much gives you the idea. What was interesting about the two teams was that Luxe was made up of all of the winners and Lace Military was made up of everyone else. So, basically, what we had here was--to reluctantly use a sports metaphor--the Starters VS. the Benchwarmers:

Team Luxe: Gretchen, Chris, Andy, Michael C., A.J., Ivy.

Team Lace Military: Valerie, Casanova, Peach, April, Michael D., Mondo.

Right from the start, everything was just SMOOOOTH SAILING for Team Luxe. Oh, we're all so good! Oh, we all get along! Oh, we're all going to work on separates and really make a team effort! They were all in love with eachother and although no leader was assigned, Gretchen (of course) pretty much took on that role. And from the looks of it, she dictated and overlooked everything pretty well. We all know she has a pretty strong opinion and isn't afraid to give it, but because of her history, her opinion is often trusted. So everyone was feeling good. Team Luxe seemed like it was all over the place, or maybe that was all in the editing of it? It looked like they were arguing and just couldn't figure out how to make their garments work as a collection.

To top it all off, Casanova--after getting yet another negative critique from Tim Gunn--left the work room, and put himself into the fetal position on the couch. Quitting was an idea running through that brain of his. But did he quit? No. I KNOW, I WOULD HAVE BEEN DEVASTATED. It just took a quick little pep talk from his waif of a good-hearted model to bring Casanova back and better than ever. Yes, I suppose she could have been motivated by the fact that if Casanova quit, her spot on the show would be in jeopardy. But I'd like to think she's better than that! Well, no matter what her motivation was, it worked. Casanova was back in the work room, and turned out quite a little number: skinny skinny sleek pants with a lacy black top. I know, that could be anything--but this looked great.

I would definitely say that Casanova was in a much better place than A.J. as he took on the shirt dress for Team Luxe. Yup, a shirt dress. And turns out, he spent most of his time working on that because it ended up being the only thing he presented when the time came on the runway. And Michael C. was coming off of a sweet win from last week but of course he was the only one who was happy about that, so all he got was teammates constantly criticism and dismissal of his work. Awww, just look at Team Luxe work so well together. They're just sailing away! Sailing right onto the runway and into the judges' hearts.

NO. That is not the way it happened. In fact that is not even close to what happened. If I could have foreseen the frightening event that occurred on that runway--I might have stopped watching. Just kidding, I probably would have made sure the volume was turned up all the way. OK, so, runway comes and goes. Team Luxe puts out an interesting collection complete with merlot, camel, capes, and shorts over tights--oh, and a shirt dress. I'm thinking to myself, "Hmmm, the colors are kind of random but this looks OK." I actually saw myself wearing the shorts-over-the-tights outfit. Team Lace Military puts out exactly that. I personally think it looks less like a collection and more like 6 outfits from one quirky person's closet. They're cool, I guess. The "collection" is fun and colorful and lacey and even Casanova was beaming.

And he had every right to beam, for he was the WINNER of this challenge. Imagine mine and Team Luxe's shock to hear that Team Lace Military had the top scores. But, no matter, I was so very happy for Casanova. He was literally beaming. Beaming Casanova is the best kind of Casanova. And I was happy for his teammates too. Sure, I'm not the biggest fan of some of them, but c'mon, it always feels great to be thought of as the underdog and steal the win right from the supposed A-Team. It's a classic pop culture storyline often found in film, tv, and literature and we saw it right here, on Project Runway. Sigh.

Oh, and guess what? We got another classic storyline. You know, the one where one character leads the rest on to think she's cheering them on when all of a sudden she turns on them like a Benedict Arnold? Yeah, that's pretty much what happened with Team Luxe. Here we have Gretchen, Ivy, Michael C., Chris, Andy, and A.J. standing together as one on the runway, in defense of their collection which apparently had the lowest points of the two. Even in the lounge, they all decided that they'd stick together and stand by their collection...and agree that Michael C. is just the worst. And that's what they did. Gretchen started to tear up. Ivy started to tear up. The guys silently and sadly nodded. Gretchen said the collection sucks. Yeah, she went from defending their work to basically ripping their work to shreds. It was awkward at best. But then things got worse. When asked who they felt was the weakest member of the team, mostly everyone threw Michael C. under the bus. Sweet and kind Ivy took it one step further and asked if Michael C's being weak was due to ignorance or being lazy. It was all very uncomfortable to watch. In the end, A.J. went home for making an ugly and cheap-looking shirt dress--and making only that.

And that's it. Tim came to get A.J. and OH WAIT A MINUTE, TIM'S GOT SOMETHING TO SAY. In what I think was a Project Runway first, Tim pretty much ripped Gretchen a new one and scolded her team members for letting her manipulate them. It was really scary. I hope to never see Tim upset again.

Michael Kors Quote of the Night: "Gretchen, someone's going down." I know, not very exciting, but it was all in the way he said it.

I guess we'll see who's going down next week.

take me out to the ballgame, buy me some peanuts and tuna tartare

Okay so I've only just caught up with Top Chef: Season 7 (Washington D.C.), thanks to a major marathon last weekend, and I'm still missing a few of the earlier episodes, so bear with my fractured and frazzled recap.

The Quickfire Challenge this week was Food Idioms (yeah, I don't know where they come up with this stuff either). Ed runs around sweating buckets, making gnocchi in an hour (hot potato), but it pays off because he's in the top two along with Kevin, who made bacon three ways (bring home the bacon) . Personally this looked the opposite of appetizing to me--one of the three ways was a "bacon foam." I have never tasted bacon foam in my life nor do I ever want to.

Amanda makes a huge honking bowl of mac and cheese (big cheese) with a frigging giant pork chop on the side. The mac and cheese looks yummy to me, but it's also a serving size worthy of Paul Bunyan. Guest judge Rick Moonen agrees and declares her dish to be in the bottom, along with Kelly's chicken with grape sauce.

Padma asks Moonen which dish would make the best frozen entree (to be put into production by Schwanns) and he chooses Ed. Well, yeah: I can imagine gnocchi, veggies, and mushroom fricassée as a viable frozen food product (I'm quite partial to Trader Joe's gnocchi alla sorrentina myself). But bacon purée, chopped bacon, and bacon froth? Not so much, no.

The Elimination Challenge is to come up with a dish for the concession stand at a Washington Nationals baseball game. The Cheftestants have to work together as a unit in the kitchen, and Kelly starts organizing (read: bossing people around). This may be an unpopular opinion but I do not like Kelly. She is super controlling and overdramatic. I'm waiting for her to get PYKAGed by Padma any day now. However, her concession stand food, a crabcake BLT, sounds pretty darn good to me. Tiffany (love her!) makes a meatball sub which the patrons seem to enjoy greatly and Ed makes some shrimp and corn fritters that also go over well. Angelo makes pork sandwiches and Kevin makes some sad-looking chicken kabobs. Nothing is sadder, though, than Amanda's gray tuna tartare. Ick.

Eric Ripert was totally the winner of this episode, though, with his hilarious comments about the concession stand food. On Tiffany's meatball sub: "It's too...messy." Eric, it's concession stand food! I wonder if he's ever had a sloppy joe. On Kevin's kabob skewers: "It was touching the bottom of my mouth and bothering me." He brings this up AGAIN during judges' table. I die laughing. On Amanda's tartare: "The color of the tuna offended me." Okay, justified. Producers, replacing that bore Toby Young with Mr. Ripert was the best thing you've ever done. In the end, Amanda gets PYKAGed, which was probably overdue. Tiffany and Ed are the top two and Ed takes it home.

I have to say, while I'm enjoying this season, I'm not really rooting for as many people as I have in the past. Tiffany is the only person I outright like and Ed is all right. I can't stand Kelly and Kevin is starting to annoy me as well. As for Angelo, he really let his freak flag fly this week, which oddly enough, endeared me to him (the phone call to his Russian girlfriend? the quasi-shrine to famous chefs and strange chantings? Had me in stitches). Tiffany has been winning a lot which, of course to me, spells crash and burn before the finale (this happens every season), so I'm not getting my hopes up. If she doesn't make it to the top 3 I may well lose interest in the finale.

Next week: BUZZ ALDRIN!

And alert: Eric Ripert has a twitter! He tweets like he talks. You can thank me later.

wow, that was uncomfortable

This week's episode of Mad Men was all sorts of uncomfortable, but more on that later. Let's focus our attention on the newest addition to Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. That's right, I'm speaking of Miss Blankenship. Oh, you. Don't ever change. Well, I suppose it would be a good idea to play the subtlety card a little more often, but really, I hope you stay yourself. Also, can I just say that it warmed my heart seeing her completing a crossword? I do crosswords almost everyday as a way to keep myself occupied during work. I don't attach a magnifier to my glasses, but perhaps I'll start. Also, did anyone else notice how crowded her desk was? In any case, comic relief is always welcome on Mad Men but it certainly is great to see an entire character dedicated to it.


After our little dose of comic relief interrupted a meeting Don was hosting, we learned that Don's been dealing with a bit of personal competition in the advertising world with some slimy guy named Ted Chaough (Really? I actually had to look up how to spell the guy's name.) Turns out the guy's firm has been picking up SCDP's lost accounts and is a real jerk about it. But at the partners' luncheon we learn that Don's got a chance of scooping up a new account to replace the ones he's lost: Honda. I must say that so far this season, Pete Campbell has proved why Don and Roger decided to take him on as a part of their mutiny at the end of Season 3. The guy has got smarts and he's a little go-getter. What's more is that he has no problem putting someone in his place, as he showed with the way he handled what I'll call "The Roger Situation."


Oh, Roger. I love you and your strong opinions, but sometimes, you have just the slightest hint of intolerance. I understand that you fought in World War II and that you witnessed many men die for their country, and that you are still sensitive, but like Bertram said, "The war's over, Roger." And Pete smartly pointed out that another agency is doing business with "Volksvawgon." Honda shouldn't be any different. But of course, Roger wouldn't hear it, and vetoed even an introductory meeting with the motorcycle company. Knowing that Roger will be Roger and no one else thinks like he does, the rest of the guys decide to go on with the meeting and keep Roger far away from it. What a great plan. I'm sure things will run smoothly.

WRONG. THINGS DID NOT RUN SMOOTHLY. Well, things were running smoothly. The Honda people were warmly welcomed by the offices of SCDP. Pete made sure to get the potted chrysanthemums out of the building. Miniature Japanese and American flags were standing happily together on the conference room table. And Joan wowed the potential clients with her apparently not-so-subtle assets. Everything was just dandy. But just as Honda was about to present the rules, in comes a shocked Roger, who then proceeds to make one offensive comment after the other--each making blatant and crude references to the past. I kept close count, and for the record, throughout the entire episode, Roger made a total of 8 offensive comments. Gee, surprisingly, Honda did not respond very well. They kept their cool of course, but there was no sign of them giving SCDP a go at their business. Roger's behavior is one of the reasons "uncomfortable" is a key word in this post's title. I had absolutely no issues with Pete Campbell walking into his office and chewing him out the way he did--it was well-deserved. The cherry was seeing Don agree with Pete. And what was the result of the whole regrettable incident? Don later received a consolation prize of a bottle of Saki from one Teddy Chaough. And that was the end of that.

JUST KIDDING! Despite the horrid incident, Honda invited SCDP to the presentation party. Sure, Bert assumed it was only to send in their resignation from the account, but it was still a chance! And so began one of the best sequences in Mad Men history. Don knows Teddy is watching his every move. So what does he do? He breaks Honda's rules and makes a commercial--oh wait--he makes it look like he's making a commercial. And what does Teddy do? He actually makes a commercial. When Don follows an all too confident Teddy and faces the people of Honda, he calmly reprimands them for not playing by their own rules, and in the end, wins their favor. It was a grand feeling. After the most recent "violated secretary gets violent" incident, Don was back on his game. It was safe to say that Don's work life was once again thriving.

Sadly, the same could not be said for his home life. Poor Sally. Poor, poor Sally. The nights she actually gets to spend with her father, he's out with the likes of Bethany. And may I just say something about Bethany? She's complaining about 3 dates in 5 months with Don, but c'mon Bethany, are you listening to yourself? You've had 3 DATES WITH DON DRAPER. That's more than I've ever gotten from him, so please do count your pretty little self lucky! ANYWAYS, poor Sally. You have to feel for the gal. While her father is out dillydallying with twenty somethings, she's stuck at his apartment with the babysitting nurse wonder who lives down the hall. She's upset. She knows that her father is "doing it" with other women. She knows that "the man pees inside the woman." Yes, it's all very awkward. So what does she do? Like any other confused 10-year old who wants to grow up, she cuts her hair, and of course it didn't exactly turn out the way she intended. No worries, after a good slap on the face from Mother of the Year, Betty Draper--ahem, uh, Francis--a quick trip to the beauty parlor fixed her right up and she was fine. Everything was back to normal. Sally had a cute, little modern hairdo. She went to a cute, little sleepover at her friends' house. She played with herself in front of her cute, little sleeping friend. SHE PLAYED WITH HERSELF. The minute those wide eyes of hers looked at the pretty guy on the TV a little differently, and her hands slowly pulled up her nightgown, things got INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE. Mortified, after finding that Sally was taken home early from the sleepover, Betty listens to Henry and finds little Sally a child psychiatrist. And even after an uncomfortable conversation with Dr. Edna, Betty goes through with it. This of course isn't the best news for Don to hear, but really, it seems like he can't do much about it. I have to agree with Dr. Faye on this one and remind Don that Sally will be OK as long as she knows he loves her--so do it, Don! Love your daughter! But don't do it in the creepy and disturbing Chinatown way. Do it in the normal, loving father way.

And you had better do it soon, Don. For it was a sad sight to little Sally silently say goodbye to a worried Carla and walk herself into Dr. Edna's office. It was almost as if we were watching her make her final exit out of a normal childhood. Peace be with you, Sally Draper.

Whew! OK, I'll admit, that was a long one. But since we're here I'll touch on a few other things of note:

• Miss Blankenship and Don and the coffee incident. Oh, how I would have loved to have seen how that played out. Perhaps it went something like this.
• Pete yelling, "Christ on a cracker!"
• It pains me to say this but I was slightly attracted to Henry Francis in his robe. Perhaps less clothing makes him look younger?
• "Miss Blankenship!"
• Pete's "dead in the water" comment directed at Roger.
• Dr. Faye letting Don know she's not married--PLEASE DON'T SLEEP WITH HER.
• Fine, January Jones, you may not be able to host SNL as well as your on-screen ex, but you can act. You also look good in light blue.
• Joan informing Roger that the Lucky Strike voiceover actor came down with a case of chest congestion.
• Peggy riding around in circles on the Honda motorcycle on the soundstage.

What, oh what, will occur next week?

hold onto your hat

Today's blog post title has been brought to you by Teri Garr's famed character of Inga, from Mel Brooks' classic, Young Frankenstein: "Hold onto your hat. I'll be right...BACK."

On Episode 4 of Project Runway, the designers had a little something to incorporate into their designs. Better yet, they needed to come up with a design inspired by and to be worn with this little something. Something that either makes or breaks an outfit. I'm speaking of the hat.

Sidenote: Hats. Boy, oh boy. You either love them or you hate them. I was once told that it is a very confident woman who wears a hat. There was a time in college when I had a total of 3 newboy caps. Yes, they were all a tad too big on me. Yes, when worn the right way, they looked pretty good. Yes, it was all because of the big trend that caused young women to prance around like tomboys--I'LL ADMIT, I WAS A FOLLOWER. Looking back, I don't know what I was thinking. Especially because one of my hats had a watermelon decal attached to it. I'm happy to say those days are gone, but I realize I can never rewrite history.

Back to Project Runway and my sanity. Taking it back a few steps, we need to remember last week's cliffhanger. Was Ivy OK? Did she die?? What was wrong with her? Yes, no, and dehydration. At least something good came out of it; Ivy informed us that she took inspiration from her hospital room, how grand. And inspiration would be needed, as we later learned when the models walked down the runway wearing Philip Treacy hats. Some were beautiful. Some were a tad ridiculous. All were fabulous. Heidi carried with her her trusty bag of buttons to decide who had first choice on the hat collection. This also meant there was a chance that people would be switching it up with the models. But strangely enough, there was no drama here. I admired the fact that each designer stayed true to their respective model.

With their models and hats selected, the designers were off to Mood and then back to the work room where the fruits of drama were ripe for the picking. When isn't there drama in the work room? The two practically go hand in hand. Casanova was considering quitting--JUST CONSIDERING. I know, can you imagine?? Kristin was referring to her hat as a "big vagina." Michael C. was a hot mess with his fabric choice and as per Tim Gunn's suggestion, decided to start a whole new dress with limited amount of time--something that has NEVER been done in Project Runway history. The man had good reason to start anew though. It's not a good sign when Tim Gunn literally jumps back in horror upon looking at a piece of fabric. And to be honest, what with his call home to his son, I for sure thought Michael C. would be getting the Auf, but much to my surprise, that's not what happened at all.

The runway came and went, and I'll just say the judges' opinions were WAY off, compared to the designers opinions.

Michael C.'s design:

• Judges: Loved it. According to Michael Kors: "This is what harmony looks like."
• Designers: Hated it. According to Casanova: "Every girl from Puerto Rico has the same dress in her closet."

Christopher's design:

• Judges: Hated it. They thought it was completely overdesigned.
• Designers: Loved it. They thought it was completely chic, and a contender for winning design.

At least the two groups could agree on April's design:

• Judges: Eh. She had the right idea but didn't execute it well, especially with a pair of hot pants that look like underwear.
• Gretchen: April would for sure be in the bottom.

But in the end, it was Kristin who went home for making a garment that couldn't relate to the giant flower on her model's head. I liked Kristin; she was a character. But I suppose being a character isn't what keeps you on this show.

Lesson of the night: The judges' opinions are the only opinions' that really matter.

Bonus points from me go to:

• Valerie for the David Bowie in Labrynth reference.
• Valerie again for eating carrots and hummus.
• The Project Runway caterers--that food looks delicious!
• Casanova for not quitting on me.
• Casanova for confessing, "I'm not like a cat with 7 lives."
• Mondo for having the make-up people draw a mustache on his model.

Michael Kors Quote of the Night: "I guess if you're going for a three-day weekend, it looks like you layered your underpants." -on April's hot pants.

Looking forward to the designers being put in 2 teams of 6 next week. Things could get violent.

it's all in the disguise

This week's episode of Top Chef centered around the art of disguise. And being that the show takes place in Washington D.C. this season, what better place to go to for disguise than the C.I.A. itself?

The remaining chefs walked into the Quickfire Challenge practically blind. Yes, they were given mystery ingredients. It was all very suspenseful. And as guest judge Wylie Dufresne (whether you love the guy or not, you gotta love his name--or at the very least, those mutton chops) explained, more mystery ingredients would follow but only one at a time. This meant that the chefs were faced with the challenge of cautiously seasoning and preparing their food so as not to ruin the end result. A fish of some sort and a can of fava beans (and a nice Chianti?) were two of their main ingredients. After a laborious 30 minutes filled with a plentiful amount of perspiration from all chefs, my gal Tiffany won with her fish stew. And, as Padme explained, this Quickfire was a "High Stakes" Quickfire, so Tiffany also walked away with $10,000. As expected, and hoped, Alex and Amanda ended up with the least-satisfying dishes. As we all know, the Quickfire Challenges are a bit of a hint to the Elimination Challenges, and this one stayed true to form. Going with the "mystery" theme, the chefs were given the task of taking a classic dish and disguising it while staying true to the dish's flavors. To take it a step further, they'd be cooking their meals in the kitchen of the C.I.A, and serving those meals to Leon Panetta himself, along with several other employees of the agency. I give you, the menu:

• French Onion Soup, as prepared by Amanda
• Chicken Cordon Bleu, as prepared by Ed
• Beef Wellington, as prepared by Angelo
• Kung Pao Shrimp, as prepared by Kelly
• Gyro, as prepared by Tiffany
• Cobb Salad, as prepared by Kevin
• Veal Parmesan, as prepared by Alex

Onto the weekly trip to Whole Foods. I've always wanted to be one of the people shopping in Whole Foods while the Top Chef crew comes rushing in. It would be exciting, and I'd probably spend more time looking for the chefs and observing how they buy their food, and less time taking care of my own needs. Alas, that experience has yet to take place. For now, I shall remain an eager viewer. It really is one of my favorite scenes in the show. It gives the viewers little hints and clues to what makes the chefs' meals what they are in the end. On one hand, we see Angelo resort to using FROZEN puff pastery for his disguised Beef Wellington. In Top Chef history, going with anything frozen has never worked out in anyone's favor. On the other hand, we see Kelly the go-getter. She's unfamiliar with Kung Pao Shrimp, so much so that she's never made it before. So what does she do? She goes to the Asian cooking aisle and picks up pre-made kung pao sauces, memorizes the ingredients, puts the sauce back where she found it, and goes to find the components needed to make her own sauce. THAT'S how you make lemonade out of a few lemons.

Onto the C.I.A's kitchen, and then the dining room where Leon, Padma, Wylie and the other diners await their disguised meals. I give you, the menu:

• French Onion Soup, as disguised by Amanda. Disguise: soup. Yes, she really stretched it. While it was almost too obvious that Amanda's dish was indeed French onion soup, according to the diners, it wasn't even that great of a dish. It was even compared to honey and lemon cough syrup--and later on, to dish water. I guess Amanda's career as a spy named Natasha will have to wait.
• Chicken Cordon Bleu, as disguised by Ed a.k.a Muffin Winthrop. Disguise: chicken wrapped in ham. It was like an inside-out version of the classic, and the diners responded well to it. Not only did it taste good, but it was creatively executed. I have to say, Muffin is kind of growing on me.
• Beef Wellington, as disguised by Angelo. Disguise: pizza. Yeah, um, it was a pizza with pre-made puff-pastry acting as the crust. I guess he tried to hide the classic, but he didn't try very hard. It's also not too great if your dish is thought of as "sad."
• Kung Pao Shrimp, as disguised by Kelly. Disguise: a sort of broth. And it worked. Not only was it difficult for people to figure out, but it apparently tasted delicious, so kudos to Kelly.
• Gyro, as disguised by Tiffany. Disguise: a lamb plate. To be honest, all I wrote in my notes in regards to the diners' reactions to Tiffany's dish was, "hooray." So that must mean she did well. Her dish had the best of both worlds. While it was a bit of a challenge to figure it out, the diners eventually came to the conclusion that there was a gyro hidden in there somewhere. And at the same time, all the flavors were there.
• Cobb Salad, as disguised by Kevin. Disguise: salad. Again, not much of a stretch, but at least it tasted good.
• Veal Parmesan, as disguised by Alex. Disguise: tortellini. Well, I'll just say that if frozen tortellini is thought of as better than your tortellini made from scratch, we have a bit of an issue.

Winner: Tiffany

Loser: Alex

Most Suspenseful/Most Overly Dramatic Moment: Leon Panetta looking at a note delivered to him during dinner, and mere seconds later excusing himself to attend to "business." Cue melodramatic Top Chef score.

Worst C.I.A.-Like Line (out of many): "In all your cases, your cover was blown." -Tom Colicchio on the chefs with the poorest dishes of the evening.

Until next week!

all that glitters

Fact: The title of this post is actually the same as the previous title of the Mariah Carey star vehicle, Glitter. I just thought everyone reading this blog should know that. Personally, if I were to base it solely on the title of the film, I probably would have been much more likely to see All That Glitters, than Glitter. For the record, I didn't see the movie until it was on television one day and I watched about a half-hour of it before changing the channel.

Speaking of glitter and everything fabulous, episode 3 of Project Runway was just that. Everything fabulous. The contestants' challenge was to create a design made up of materials from a party store. So this week, they did not get to go on their weekly field trip to Mood Fabrics. Which means we were not given the privilege of hearing everyone yell, "THANK YOU MOOD!" at the end of their trip. In lieu of Mood, they journeyed on over to PARTY GLITTERS. I just can't help but put it in caps--it's far too exciting of a name for a store. Tim Gunn, our fearless friend in fashion (and basically anything else) wisely reminded the designers that the judges aren't the biggest fans of fabric-like materials such as table clothes, fur, and I suppose anything else that can easily be mistaken as fabric. Casanova, being the conscious listener he is, decided to go with those such items.

Here's the thing about Casanova. I like him. I like him a lot. And it really has nothing to do with what he's been putting on the runway (more on that later) but just the person he is. To be honest, everytime he's being interviewed, the image of one of the most famous actors associated with campy horror films, pops right into my head. That's right. He reminds me of Vincent Price. I know what you're thinking, "C'mon Alex, those two look NOTHING alike--you are SO insane." Well I'm not. It's all in his mannerisms and his expressions. He even hunches in a way that makes me feel like he's got evil on the mind. And when Casanova started dramatically slicing open the many plush puppy toys he bought, it all turned so maniacal so quickly. I could see it: Vincent Price in, The Toy Store. A film about a toy shop owner and his toys. Everynight, upon closing, the toys become alive--but not for long. No, they're running away from being murdered by the very man who makes them. Fine, I may be taking this a little too far, but please humor me:

Anything? I may be reaching but I stand by my opinion, much like the designers on Project Runway stand by their designs.

Oh, hey, speaking of designs, perhaps I should get back to what I was talking about. So everyone was in the workroom, looking at the crazy items they purchased, and went about figuring out how exactly they would "make it work." Gretchen was figuring out how she could make this "cheeseball" of a challenge result in a chic and hip design. Peach was under the impression that zebra-print is subtle. And Crystal was deciding on whether or not her woolly balls could be incorporated into the outfit. It was not a typical day in the work room.

And what resulted out of all of this madness? Plenty:

• Valarie impressed everyone (including guest judge Betsy Johnson) with her b/w tiered skirt made out of NAPKINS. It was quite impressive. She didn't win, but she made her mark in the competition.
• Andy won because he mad and outfit that looked like it was made out of real fabric--which is always the path to a win in these arts and crafts challenges.
• Gretchen impressed everyone with her downtown look made from streamers and paper--though I definitely would not have gone with those boots. C'mon Gretchen, you yourself have great style--why choose a boot so high when you've got a virtually knee-length skirt? WHY?
• A.J. actually thanked the judges for calling his frighteningly overdone design a "hot mess."
• Casanova frightened everyone with an explosion of AWESOME. Fine, it wasn't awesome. It was actually terrible.

But while I'll Casanova hit quite a low, it was Sarah who went home because she just didn't take those spray-painted paper palm trees and think far enough out of the box.

In the future I foresee more amazing things from Gretchen. I know it's early, but I don't think the girl can be stopped, much to the dismay of her competitors. While she's not making many friends, she's certainly one to look out for. I also see Casanova somehow redeeming himself--YES, IT WILL HAPPEN.

Michael Kors Quote of the Night: "She looks like a transvestite flamenco dancer at a funeral." -on Casanova's creation.

You can't get any more descriptive than that.

wait, where's the nudity?

I think this was the first time we got a nudity warning, isn't it? I can't help it, it's piqued my interest ever so slightly more!

I just ADORE Pete and Trudy Campbell. I know there are a lot of Peggy/Pete fans out there but the Campbells are perfection. Seeing Pete get so excited was cute--and this comes from someone who hates Pete half the time. But I am so worried about the growing Campbell fetus! Why is Pete telling everyone so early?? I'm fearful of a miscarriage for poor Trudy.

Tangent: WHERE do I recognize Trudy's dad from?

Peggy is starting to become a great character, IMO. Previously she was kind of just seen as the rather strange girl (pregnant, didn't know it til it popped out her birth canal) with an odd taste in men (Pete Campbell, Duck Phillips, the current wet blanket) and an unfortunate wardrobe (anyone else distracted by that puffy-sleeved, mustard-colored monstrosity she was wearing this episode? It looked like it came out of Anne of Green Gables). But she's fast becoming the most interesting and amusing character in the show, what with the crazy pot-induced grin and the eavesdropping on Don. Her floating head above the wall divider made me laugh like a maniac. And I love how she makes the audience (at least, this audience member) vacillate between loving that she's out there going to beatnik parties, kissing strangers in closets, and running away from the po-po and then feeling terribly bad for her when she's wistfully staring at the wedding ring on her finger and finding out Pete's going to have a baby. Kudos, Miss Olsen.

Tangent: I've flipped to E! during the commercial break (sorry AMC, even your clever advertisements disguised as trivia can't stop the channel surfing). Kourtney Kardashian is clearly a robot.

Don as a character is fascinating and for that, I love him. That said, he deserves every single bad thing that is happening to him this season. Jon Hamm does a great job of looking guilty as sin when Allison breaks down during the focus group. And not even writing the poor girl a recommendation letter! He's lucky that office knickknack was the worse thing she threw at him. His meager attempt at an apology letter was just pathetic. And don't think we haven't been noticing Don's increasing alcohol consumption (well, more than usual, anyway).

It's 10:58 pm and I'm still wondering who's getting naked. Then, lightbulb moment: Oh wait, it was those nude photos Peggy was looking at in the elevator! I keep forgetting this is still basic cable. Sorry, I think I've just watched waaaaay too much HBO in my life. Thanks to True Blood/The Wire I've seen enough bottoms and boobs to last me three lifetimes.

Solved: Trudy's dad is Clarissa's dad on Clarissa Explains It All!

It's not until the preview for the next week that I realize Betty wasn't in this episode and I really didn't miss her at all. Not to worry Betty fans, it looks like she'll be back next week and in full-on beeyotch mode ("I want him dead." Tell us how you really feel, B.)

Bottom line: I enjoyed this episode but it also seemed like some parts (i.e. Peggy's adventures in beatnik land) felt like they belonged to a different show. We're heading sort of into the middle of the season where things tend to go a bit slower as setup for the "omg-WHAT-just-happened-oh-no-he-DIDN'T-oh-yes-she-did" season-ending eps, so I'm cutting it some slack. I think we can all agree we're on course for a Don Draper emotional meltdown. It's gonna be epic!

And the rest...
-Loved Don's little smile when he saw Peggy trying on Blonde Doctor's ring.
-Jean Seberg shout-out from Harry Crane!
-Welcome back, Ken Cosgrove. Don't stray from us too long again.
-New favorite word: swellegant!
-Loved seeing Don's new secretary. Joan knows what's up!

two for the price of one

Our favorite fashion-competition-reality show (yes, there are multiple shows of this nature. Bravo alone has released a slew of them--ahem, The Fashion Show--just to make up for the big one it lost to Ladytime--I mean, Lifetime) is well into its eighth season, having recently aired its third episode last Thursday. If you haven't caught on already, I'm speaking of Project Runway. That's right. Tim. Heidi. Michael. And even scary Nina. They're all back.

Just to catch you up, I'll do two brief--so brief, they're bullet points--recaps of the previous 2 episodes. Though I actually recommend watching the episodes on Lifetime before or after reading these recaps so they make more sense.

Episode 1:

• Yay, Project Runway Season 8! We're back. And we're back in New York--wheee! Hi Tim! Hi Heidi! Hi different contestants from all walks of life!
• I should win. No, I should win.
• I know that I'm young and I just graduated fashion school but people shouldn't doubt my potential.
• I can't BELIEVE I'm on PROJECT RUNWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
• Wait, what? We're not officially on the show yet? This challenge will determine our placement?
• Designers, please take out an item of clothing from your suitcase. Now pass it to your left. You will incorporate this material into your final design.
• OH NO.
• Welcome to the runway.
• Ivy. Yes, you the one with the attitude. NO, DON'T BACKTALK ME. You made uglier pants out of ugly pants. Think next time.
• Casanova. You have a taste issue. But that's OK, you can stay. I like your accent and they way I can read what you're thinking just by looking at your expression.
• Gretchen, from Portland. Yes you, with the cool bangs that look good on you but would look atrocious on me. You are the winner. You used that insanely beaded jacket and made cutesy yet elegant should pads on a not-so-simple black dress. Well done.
• McKell. Oh McKell. You must leave. Your design was a valiant effort. But I think it's best you leave so you can go home, and have a family conference with your parents about why they named you McKell.

Episode 2:

• Yay! We're actually ON Project Runway Season 8!
• OMG! Atlas, we're home! Let's go to the roof like they told us to!
• Designers, it's time for Marie Claire challenge! You better give us a look that defines the Marie Claire woman.
• Marie Claire is fun and flirty, but also a career-woman. She just LOVES her day-to-night looks.
• Oh OK, we TOTALLY get it.
• There's more? We have to direct our own photo shoot? And if we win it will go up in Time Square? Um, OK!
• Designers, welcome to the runway. By the way, we're going to judge the photo you chose to present us with.
• Valarie, I didn't notice you last week but I like your red dress. It's an eye-grabber and totally worn by the Marie Claire woman.
• Gretchen, whoever said "lightning never strikes twice" must have gotten hit by it, for you have impressed us again! HAHAHAHAAHAHAH.
• No, but seriously, your cute lil' navy jumpsuit looks great. And she's jumping in the air...in her jumpsuit. BRILLIANT! Congratulations, you are the winner.
• Jason. Yes, you, the one who refuses to take off the bowler hat. I'm sorry, but the Marie Claire woman does not wear a metallic wrap-around dress held together with a pin.
• No, Jason. It makes no sense that the dress is in the shape of the infinity symbol. Your model looks really mean. And Marie Claire is not a mean woman--she looks like she want to cut you. You're out.
• Actually, Nicholas, you're not safe. You're out too. Please don't start crying. Because I said so.

Stay tuned for a full recap of Episode 3!

top restaurant

Lately, I've been playing catch up with Top Chef. I remember loving the series straight from Season 1--remember Harold? Sigh. 6 cities later, we're in Washington D.C. and at a pivotal point in the season. The most recent episode put the remaining chefs at war with each other in, well, RESTAURANT WARS! That's right, a bunch of chefs scrambling (eggs?) to work the front of house as well as the kitchen to utter perfection. And you know, I have to say, as one who's watched several season of this show, I've never once seen a team shine in every aspect. There are always flaws, no matter what. This episode, each team had its ups and downs.

The blue team contained most of my favorites: Kenny, Kelly (she grew on me), and Kevin. This team also included Amanda. But she is not one of my favorites, and she never will be. So that's that. Let's move on. On the red team, were Ed, Tiffany, Alex, and Angelo. OK. I LOVE Tiffany. I adored her enthusiasm since her first interview on episode one and she can also cook. She also cooks meals that I would actually like to eat. Those tamales last looked divine, and if possible, I would have taken them right out of the television and eaten them right then and there. Ed I can live with. He's cool. A bit opinionated but he's a nice guy. And I definitely sided with him during English Pea Puree Gate. Which brings me to the next guy: Alex. Grrr. I wanted this guy to be a favorite of mine simply because I share his name, but I can't make myself like someone just because his name is Alex, can I? NO. This Alex is a dirty player. His personality and attitude throughout the whole competition have not been appetizing. I suppose I could say the same thing about his food. I'm still in awe of the fact that he took Ed's pea puree--YES, HE TOOK IT. THE TAPES DON'T LIE. And Angelo--ugh, I don't even want to waste words on him. He's a good chef but too frequently compares cooking to sex and in doing so doesn't make either activity appealing.

SO. After a sweet little Quickfire with Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Restaurant Wars was ON. Blue went with "TwentyOne21" for their name. Oooh, clever. And Red went with "Evoo. " I'll just say the name sounded really frightening when Angelo said it with wide-eyed excitement. So Red chose Alex for front of house. And it's not because he is the most approachable guy in the group. It's because THEY DON'T TRUST HIM AS A COOK--SCANDAL! And I'll just say, working as a server has never been something I'd like to find myself doing. But working as a server under Alex--well, that would probably make me go home every night, turn all the lights off, and cry in the corner. I'd want to quit, but it's a job and the tips are good. And the economy's so tough lately, I'm lucky to have a job. Even if I'm working for an insane disciplinarian, at least I'm working.

Um, yeah, so back to the episode. Blue chose Kelly for front-of-house. And I thought it a wise decision. Afterall, she is both approachable and kindly assertive. Instead of yelling at her waitstaff, she had them taste every dish so they'd know what they were serving. When I saw this, I really thought Blue had it in the bag. In. The. Bag. And for the record, though the judges found her a bit nervous, she WAS a better host than Alex. She was actually at the front to greet them, like a good host should be. And she didn't mix up what her restaurant was actually serving. Well done.

But in the end, the food prevailed. And while I admire Blue for fighting and giving Alex a good yell in the stew room, having your food compared to a dinner rescued by Hamburger Helper does not bode well. I was sad to see Kenny go. But by making himself the executive chef, he put himself on the line.

I know I keep harping on this, but I really do hope that Alex gets what's coming to him some how. If not for the pea puree, then for something else. Something crazy. Something that has never been seen in the history of Top Chef. I suppose I can only hope.

As for the rest of those gourmets, I'm really gunning for Tiffany. If not Tiffany, then Kelly. If not Kelly, then Kevin. If not Kevin then--well I'll just stop watching.

out with the old, in with the new...year.

Last we saw dashing and debonair Don Draper (i could really have a lot more fun with alliteration if i wanted to) he was a cold and careless cad (see what i mean?). Leaving his secretary, Allison, with little more than a thank-you note and $100 for bringing his keys, getting him some aspirin, and letting him take advantage of her body and her heart; Don finally became a real jerk. In this week's episode, the two were back to their regular secretary-boss relationship and we saw Don readying himself for his holiday trip to Acapulco. But more on this later.

Let's start with Joan, shall we? Yes, we shall, because this is our recap and our blog and we'll do this however we want. Oh Joan. Joan, Joan, Joan, Joan, Joan. Are we happily married yet? Well, you must be, if you want to have a baby with your darling husband Greg. Tell me, will the baby be a product of lovemaking or a good old-fashioned rape? You never know with that Greg--he's just chock full of surprises! My opinions aside, glad to hear everything's all well and good with your baby-making machinery, even after two kicked-to-the curb pregnancies. But this plot line has "baby born without a father" written all over it. Greg's shipping off to Vietnam at one point, as we all know. And while he did tug a bit at my heartstrings when he so smoothly fixed Joanie's finger and reminded her (and us) of why she married him, I still say "Good riddance" to the guy.


What was going on at SCDP? Nothing, really. The office was pretty quiet, as everyone was getting ready for their one day off on New Years Day. Roger was nowhere to be found--and I missed that. I can always count on him for a one-liner, or at least a great 3-piece suit, and I got nothing. Speaking of MIA's, strangely enough, I missed Peter--and I even missed Trudy. I wish they did stay in the city for the holidays. I have to disagree with you on this one Trudy, NYC is actually quite lovely in December, so THERE. Joan tried tempting an all-work-and-no-play Lane with fried chicken--choice of breast or thigh--with hopes of getting a few days off in January. And as Lane illustrated, her lovely lady lumps don't work their magic on him. It was frustrating for Joanie. Lane, being the nice Brit he is, did the right thing and sent her flowers. Oh but WAIT A MINUTE, he sent apology flowers to his snobby and stuck up wife in the UK. Oh nevermind, that's an easy task for a secretary, nothing should go wrong there--oh but WAIT A MINUTE, Lane's girl caused a mix-up. In the end, hostile words were unintentionally said, roses were intentionally thrown, and Lane's "It's not my fault" girl was given the boot by the all-powerful Joan.

So then what was going on with our boy Don? Lot's of stuff. He (and we) learned a lot of things while stopping over in San Pedro to visit Mrs. Draper (the real one):

• He learned that his smooth moves don't work on EVERY woman.
• We learned that Don looks REALLY GOOD in California.
• He and we learned that Anna has terminal cancer, which she is unaware of.
• We learned that Don looks REALLY GOOD painting in is undergarments.
• He learned that saying goodbye to Anna was saying "Goodbye," not "See you later."
• We learned that Jon Hamm deserves the Emmy that is coming to him at one point in this show's run. The man can act, people.

Of course when Don returned to SCDP and left his California life behind (forever?) the real fun began. Turns out Lane did not join his family in London and instead stayed behind at SCDP. Don. Lane. Alcohol that doesn't taste at all like alcohol. These two are gonna get CRAZY. Memorable moments of their all-night bender:

• Lane and Don figuring out what movie they want to see together--immediately cutting from their thoughts on Catherine Deneuve and The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, to Godzilla--their film of choice.
• Lane getting very--VERY--excited about his Porterhouse steak, so much so that he slaps it on his pants for everyone to see.
• Don ordering up another lady friend for Lane. Which was memorable but also very sad. The man just became separated with his wife. I love you Don, but you shouldn't be doing this to him.
• Don keeping Lane and his prostitute out of the kids rooms--at least he has some boundaries.
• Lane's prostitute's fee being $25. Does that mean she's pricey or cheap?

And by the end of the episode, we were left with the heads in the office planning for 1965. What, oh what, will come their way? I hope they see more accounts. I hope Lee Garner Jr. is eventually put in his place. I hope Joan's husband is killed in combat. I hope Allison gets Don's attention again and refuses him. I hope Betty is forced out of the house her ex-husband pays for. I hope Peggy dumps her drag of a boyfriend. I hope so many things for this show. But most of all, I hope to see Don in his boxers again soon.

merry christmas, everybody! not you, don

You know I have to hand it to Jon Hamm, because despite being extremely attractive to the point of distraction, he still manages to make me hate his (character's) breathing guts this episode. He deserves to have a shitty Christmas, quite frankly. Way to make your poor secretary feel like a whore, Don. But for once can SOMEONE, ANYONE, please turn Don down when he propositions them? I mean, for heaven's sake!

Chekhov's gun, Mad Men-style: Introduce a fairly attractive female guest star in the second episode of the season and Don will have slept with her by the end of the season. We're looking at you, blonde doctor and brunette nurse neighbor. Place your bets.

Speaking of blonde doctor, anyone else mighty intrigued by her assertion that Don will be married again within a year? I wouldn't be surprised if this turned out to be true. I'd love to know what she "typed" him as...

Oh, Peggy. Your taste in hairstyles has improved dramatically this season, yet your taste in men remains dismally disappointing. I knew it wouldn't be a good sign when the "previously on" teaser chose to remind us all of your liaison with Duck Phillips.

GTFO, Lee Garner, Jr. (although making Roger dress up as Santa may have been worth it for the shot of Harry sitting on his lap. And many a gif was made!)

I have no thoughts on Glenn because he is creepy as shit and I don't even know where the writers are going with this and I'm afraid to speculate. But RUN, SALLY, RUN! It's a good thing Don is making lots of money because this is probably all going towards Sally's future therapy bills, assuming she makes it to adulthood in one piece.

Okay I realize most of this episode Don is fairly despicable but did anyone else think him calling Peggy 'sweetheart' was like the cutest thing ever? It was, come on, admit it! (P.S. Writers, don't ever make these two hook up, pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease. It's Don's one functional relationship. Okay, yes, it's based on a mutual understanding of harboring deep secrets, but functional nonetheless!)

Betty had like two lines this episode. I'm not complaining.