But like I said, you started off strong. In walks Mr. Schue to Glee Club rehearsal, asking everyone who Christopher Cross was. And right off the bat, we get a whopper from Brittany when she quietly yet confidently answers, "Discovered America." Turns out Christopher Cross is actually a big star in the "easy listening" category. But the class will have none of that. Following Kurt's lead, they want Britney. I can use one name, right? We all know I'm talking about Britney Spears, right? This episode has been publicized for over a year, right? So everyone's a fan of Britney, except for, well, Brittany. Our Brittany. My favorite Glee clubber of the show, Brittany. Turns out, she DOES have a last name, and it's Pierce. That, combined with her middle initial, makes Brittany S. Pierce. Now, sound it out, and what do you get? That's right. Hence, Brittany's dislike of Britney's music. And hence the title of this episode, "Britney/Brittany." We were all told that Brittany (Heather Morris) would be given more stuff to do, and this episode was all about her...and a little more.
Emma, the school counselor, who once had a HUGE crush on Mr. Schue, and who always supported Mr. Schue, and who almost made it all happen with Mr Schue, is not with Mr. Schue. She's with her dentist, played with enthusiasm, by guest star John Stamos (will that man ever age?). And it turns out that he is actually responsible for a good chunk of the musical performances in this episode, for they take place while, one by one, the Glee Club members are put under anesthesia at the dentist's office. And that's where all of this Britney madness starts. Brittany first had a solo fantasy, embodying different Britneys from her multiple videos (Toxic, Oops, I Did it Again, etc.). It was....interesting. The girl, having been a back-up dancer for Beyonce, can certainly dance. And we saw that here, as well as in her next fantasy with Santana, which was also...interesting. I just wasn't thrilled by it. It didn't excited me. I wasn't beaming. My eyes weren't glazing over due to their inability to close. I just sat there, watching these Britney fantasies (along with Rachel's and Artie's) and let the scenes play out. It just felt like I was waiting for them to move on. I don't get it. Am I not hip? Am I not "with it?" Or am I not as big of a Britney fan as I thought? The latter of the two is probably more accurate. I'm a fan of Britney (there, I said it), but only of her major and earlier hits (does that even make me a fan?). So I suppose that when Brittany got her big moment in the spotlight singing, "Me Against the Music" and "I'm a Slave 4 U", I just sat there thinking, "Eh."
But the disappointment didn't end there. Even with her bigger hits, "Baby One More Time" and "Stronger", respectively, I still just sort of sat there and watched. Rachel was given the former, and it was basically a take on the fact that she was worried about Finn stepping out on her if he rejoins the football team and gets cool again. Cue a complete music video recreation. And it was just cheesy. And while I suppose Artie taking on "Stronger" was both meaningful and innovative for the show, I again found myself bored and slightly bothered by the cheese factor.
But let's forget about the cheese and get back to the show. So the Glee Club has basically come down with a mad case of Britney Fever--much to the chagrin of Mr. Schue. But after an intense confrontation with Kurt accusing him of how uptight he is, and a more casual and loving counseling session with the unavailable Emma (absolutely ruined by that character I find incessantly annoying, Terri), he decided to loosen up. So much so, that he performed with the students, a slower version of "Toxic." This performance took place at the school's pep rally. Cue utter student madness as the student population goes nuts and becomes apparently sex-crazed, thanks to the intoxicating (I know, I did it) performance. And Sue Sylvester (yeah, Sue, where have you been this whole time?) proclaims it to be a Britney Spears Sex Riot.
But I think we should all just calm do--CALM DOWN! Everything will be fine. The kids feel empowered by their Britney fantasies, so that's probably a good thing. Artie and Finn are BOTH on the football team, so that's something to be happy about. Brittany is feeling much better about her Britney issues, and is actually much more confident than she was before. And Rachel had acquired enough sentimentality to sing--yes, sing, we sing here--her feelings to Finn. After finding out that she is indeed the only girl for him (thanks to Quinn playing the role of seductive yet celibate cheerleader to entice him), and she chooses not a Britney song, but Paramore's "The Only Exception." And I'll admit it. It was kind of nice. I speak for both my colleague and I when I say it's really difficult to watch Lea Michelle with those new, unwelcome bangs and that oh so slightly thinning face (what was so wrong with how she looked last season?). But the girl can sing. And her rendition of this song was lovely, and while I didn't cry, I got a bit sentimental myself.
Aside from Brittany's usual scene-stealing lines, Jane Lynch's (horribly short-lived) appearance, and Principle Figgins' homecoming rally attention-grabber ("Quiet please children. Quiet now."), I feel like that final song was the only redeeming factor of this Britney-themed episode. And, yup, it's not even a Britney song. So there you go. I guess that tells you that for this viewer, the Britney episode was not a success. I just counted, and the names Britney and Brittany occur in this post a total of 32 times (now, 34). Yet for the past week, and in all of the time I spent writing this post, all that sticks in my head is the final song. And since I have to deal with it, why don't we all deal with it? I leave you with Paramore:
Here's hoping next week's episode awakens the inner Gleek.
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